Time To Say 再见...

The lights of the KTV parlor lit up the dark Xiamen night with an unusual, clean, almost mesmerizing brightness. This hub of nocturnal activity drew in the night crowds for eating, drinking, fellowship, and bad karaoke singing. On this particular night I found myself here with a group of friends--mostly Chinese students with a few Americans from our group. Walking into the building we were immediately met by shouts of Huan ying guan ning (welcome) by the smiling, uniformed girls who are paid to nothing but that. This pleasant greeting is both a reminder of the incredible hospitality of China, and of the rampant over employment encouraged and enforced by the local governments. We are led to our private room that will serve as the setting for the rest of the night's fun. Some of us choose our places in the comfortable couches lining the walls, while others rush over to the computer to begin filling our singing playlist with Chinese love songs and a random assortment of whatever English stuff we can find--let's just say we got used to singing Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears!

About an hour had passed when my friends Sally and Clark chose one particular song that they seemed really excited about. As soon as the music began, I knew i had heard the song before, but didn't really know where it came from. As the music to Beijing Huan Ying Ni began to creep through the speakers, the room erupted with emotion. This was the official song of the 2008 Olympics, translated as, "Beijing Welcomes You." I feel like this song has become the unofficial motto for the new China. This song, better than any others I heard, captures the hope, pride, and excitement that has been stirring in this country--climaxing at the Olympics.

For the next 7 minutes, I watched my friends sing their hearts out. For the next 7 minutes, I watched a music video with almost every Chinese celebrity standing together--united in love for their country. For the next 7 minutes, I was filled with love, respect, appreciation, wonder, and pride for China. In these 7 minutes, my perception of China was changed. In that moment, that night, in that KTV parlor...I finally got it. I got why/how the Chinese were so proud of their country. I finally got the depth and mystery of this ancient yet modern culture. I finally grew resigned to the fact that it was "Ok" for China to be different. Contrary to what my skin or language would have told me, in those 7 minutes I was almost convinced that I too was Chinese. Maybe it was less thinking, and more wishing--wishing I could be part of their past, be part of their future...Wishing I could sing this song with the same conviction I was seeing on the other faces there in that dim room.

There is an ancient Confucian philosophy that held to "The redemptive properties of Chinese culture." Applied mainly to neighbors and barbarous invaders, the idea went that Chinese culture was so magnificent and beautiful that it would actually change, civilize, or Sinicize (make Chinese) all those who came in contact with it. I like to think that in some very real way, this has applied to me--that is some very real way, China has redeemed and changed me. As those warring neighbors of old, after even such a brief contact with these people, I return just a bit more Chinese.

Throughout this semester you have read my reflections, meditations, rants, criticisms, frustrations, revelations, and epiphanies. I have learned, grown, got lost, made mistakes, had adventures, made relationships, fallen even more in love with my Creator, and even eaten a dog or two along with way. I apologize for the times I have seemed too hard on America...or not hard enough. My relationship with this nation is indeed a complex one, and it seems that with every journey I take, this home is illuminated and born again to be viewed with new eyes. My relationship with China has also been very complex--requiring work, patience, and effort to get to know her. (Like any good relationship) At times blinded by child-like flattery, I also realize that I may have over-exaggerated China's strengths, or ignored her weaknesses. All that aside, this nation returned the wonder, adventure, and mystery that has been conspicuously absent from a traveler whose world had grown just a bit too small. Although this trip is over, my relationship with China is not over. The times I have had will always stay with me--affecting me, enlivening me, saddening me, and forever tainting the way I view the world.

中国。。。
我爱你
有空来坐！

---你的美国的弟弟!
(马修)