Ulterior Motives

In light of our earlier discussion, I decided to post a pertinent class-assignment. In my intercultural communication class, we were instructed to write a short description of a "cultural incident" that had happened since we arrived in China. These cultural incidents described in our textbook refer to any encounter where either party was confused/frustrated/angered by a cultural or linguistical misunderstand. As you could as guessed, it was not hard to think of one...

Background: Some of the guys and I were coming back from eating dinner at a restaurant not far from the West-Gate of campus when we decided to stop and patronize our favorite tea stand—Dance Tea. We crammed in the small store-front filling it with English, hesitant mandarin, and much laughter. After ordering from the friendly worker who spoke a little English, I decided to practice my Mandarin by asking her a simple question…

Description: Before this, our group had had some makings of a “conversation” with the cashier pieced together with her bad English and our even worse Mandarin. Going for a complex question, I decided to ask her what her name was. I got her attention first, and then sat in silence practicing it in my head while she awkwardly watched me. Finally, I leaned over the counter with way to much confidence and said, “Ni Jiao ma?” thinking this was completely correct. She didn’t seem to get it at first, so I repeated it with more enthusiasm. After this, she looked a little confused. This confusion was met by the laughter of the rest of the female employees of Dance Tea! I was promptly informed by one excited girl that I had just asked her out to eat sometime! Apparently I pronounced Jiao wrong, making it sound more like chi--the word for "to eat." I made an attempt at informing them of my real motives, but I think it just made me look even more foolish. At about this time, our last tea arrived prompting us to all say “zaijian” to the semi-annoyed looking cashier and her co-workers and make our way down the street talking and laughing way louder than normal in Xiamen.

Reflection: At first, this “cultural incident” just seemed like another funny reinforcement of the language barrier that daily reduces me to the abilities of a toddler. However, upon further review, I see how this could have been an example of a “Type 2 Incident.” The unfortunate stereotype about many male Westerners my age is that they are here in China to have fun and take advantage of the local girls. My linguistic fax paus might have been interpreted as a nonchalant and even offensive sexual approach. It seems many Westerners view local Chinese women as only good for dating or sleeping with. That was not the impression I wanted to convey at all. I don’t know if this is how it was taken, but the annoyed look on her face told me maybe she interpreted the laughter and question as more than it really was.